Feeling sad about Brexit? Here’s the good news:
1) Once Scotland becomes independent, one quarter of our flag will be anachronistic, and we can finally change the stupid thing.
2) Australia could now attempt to seize the UK’s permanent slot on Eurovision, seeing as we have proved our insecure, ‘ironic’ Europhilia to be stronger than theirs.
3) EU environmental regulations protected the green dales and flowery meadows so beloved by the little englanders – hope you all enjoy your poisoned woodlands and contaminated ponds! You lose… as do we all.
4) I get to validate my prejudices against my bigoted elderly relatives from Stoke-on-Trent. Hmmm, the empty satisfaction of low expectations confirmed… combined with the fear of being called out for blaming the working class.
5) We will have the bitter voyeuristic pleasure of watching a herd of imperial nostalgists destroy the last vestiges of that same empire.