breaking news

Youth Leaders Overrun Africa

In breaking news tonight, Western Tanzania has been struck by an epidemic of youth leaders. Whole villages have had to be evacuated to avoid the youth leaders, who are gathering in well-meaning and smug looking packs. Fortunately for the Tanzanian population, the majority of the youth leaders have been successfully quarantined in an isolated region adjoining Lake Tanganyika. Here, in the absence of local villagers to help, the youth leaders have turned on each other, with reports indicating that several have suffered severe wounds to their ego after discovering that their motivational pep talks were all from the same self-help book.
Several youth leaders were successfully lured into traps by the promise of a photo opportunity with Bono and Bob Geldof, and have now been returned to their home countries, put on the dole and taught to have low self esteem like normal young people.
Earlier today, Glocalpundit spoke to one of the un-captured youth leaders, Evan Sullivan, secretary-in-chief of Consciousness-Fern, a youth-led entrepreneurial charity organisation which gives youth leaders a voice in leading youth.
Asked why he was forcing local school children to sing inane songs about self-reliance and the virtues of micro-credit schemes, Mr Sullivan responded: ‘Because I’m passionate about education. But I know, as young Victorian of the year, that education is a two way process. When I’m teaching Tanzanians how to set up bank accounts, I don’t just think: what can Iteach them. I also think: what can they learn from me?’
When further enquiries were made about what he had actually done for the local population, Mr Sullivan was emphatic. ‘Before I arrived, there was a Consciousness-Fern sponsored well in this village. Unfortunately, its water pump was broken, so we came and painted over the Consciousness-Fern logo on the well, because the Consciousness-Fern brand is about helping the needy, and that well wasn’t helping the needy, so we just couldn’t allow it to be part of our brand image anymore.’ Mr Sullivan remains at large.
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